Lisa Eady’s Weblog

For as much of the movie I have seen, it makes me really wonder what America is coming to. Over 11 thousand people being shot each year? I really do agree with the fact our media only produces the bad things that are going on. I go to my local news channel homepage just to see what has been going on down home, and all I ever read about is rape and murder. It saddens me. I think it really does have an impact on violence.

I believe we should have the up most amazing experience, and that experience is snow with fall trees.  Just think, wouldn’t it be beautiful if we had tons of white puffy snow that covered the ground and the branches of trees? On those branches little bits of color will be popping out wards.  I just want that to happen.

As I sat in my dorm room last night there was a spiral of emotions. This was my first year in college and my first time to vote in an election that went down in history. We have made a big step forward just by electing a black president. It’s crazy how much America has changed in the past 30 to 40 years. We went from the civil rights movement to this. I simply think this alone is going to change the worlds view on America. I believe this is going to make us simply look like a nation who has came together and accomplished something no one had ever thought possible.

I voted for Obama and not just because he was black. I voted for him because he has values that I agree with. He is a man who has so much care for community service, world involvement, and the environment. He is leading us out of tradition and into something new. I thought about all this last night as the TV was showing the electoral votes. My emotions were hard to understand I was so happy yet numb. I think I was numb to the pure fact something amazing is going to happen. We as Americans are going to make a difference.

 I felt more in one with this election, not only because I was older but because of what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’m studying to be a social worker and Obama has knowledge in this area. He wants to make it so students have to do 50 hours a year of community service in high school and middle school. This to me is amazing; community service was my way of life. This is what I loved to do and I couldn’t imagine what I would have done without it.

Each and everyday is a new day. But do we take that new day and live it to its fullest or do we base it upon the actions of the day before? It’s normal for us to not take a clean slate each and everyday. We hold grudges we don’t forgive, and most of all we don’t give ourselves a chance to start over and live a brand new fresh day. We all plan for the future and take part on and still live off the past. We don’t live in the present. I’m to blame for this as much as anybody else. It’s so easy to think back and say, “what if I did this, what if I did that,” but in reality does it really matter any more? What’s done is done we can’t go back and change it, all we can do is learn from it. As days go by I’ve realized wow October has gone by fast. The past 4 years have gone by fast. And what bothers me the most about this is the question… Did I live each and everyday to its fullest or did I let my past get me down? Well all in all my past took the best of me and along beside it my future did as well. I’ve planned for my future so much to the point where my future plans just might not work out, because I’ve planned so much for it that I’m not doing what I need to be doing  to even help my future unravel.  A life not lived isn’t worth remembering. A life to planned out isn’t worth living. Learn from your mistakes. Make mistakes to learn from. Enjoy what each and every day has brought you. Don’t focus on the future so much that that’s all your life is based on. Don’t keep living off of old memories. Make new ones. Make your life worth living. Show love and compassion, bring hope to others. Meet new people, and as you meet new people don’t judge them till you get to know them. You never know what you’re missing out on. If someone’s ugly so what. Take the time to get to know them, they could be someone remarkable, some one so amazing that you just don’t know where they’ve been all your life. Don’t look at people because of their… I guess I could say “status.” Not all preps are stuck up. Not all Goths are suicidal. Not all skinny people are anorexic, and not all fat people eat everything they see. Not all artistic people are weird not all band people are geeks. Get to know people learn new things from them and slowly we’ll all have something in common. Well have a life that was lived fully and well balanced. As I watch my mom slowly die through the past years I realized how wonderful a life fully lived is. If we don’t live it out we will be lost and depressed, unsatisfied. God didn’t give us all these amazing wonders just to sit back and say someday. And never do it.

I feel so worthless. I just cant even bare to call home and tell my parents. I’m afraid to hear their reactions. I was never a bad student. I always had A’s and I never had to work this hard. I am working my butt of to get a decent grade at this school and to me a decent grade is a B not a C and it seems as if all I can pull off here is a C. It just kills me. I study and I study, then there are those who dont do a thing. Makes me so frickin mad because they get the better grade. I just want to give up. I cant handle it, it has brought me to the point of, “My lord kill me now!” I just wish those of us who work hard could get the grade we worked for and those who have done nothing get nothing! The people who do nothing are not going to do anything for their jobs. But those of us who have worked and got a crappy grade we will work for our job. The thing is I wont qualify for my major because I’m just average!